Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Top 10 Reasons the New iPhone Sucks (Part I of II)

Without further adieu, here's my "Top 10 Reasons the New iPhone Sucks". This post covers reasons 10 through 6.

10. It's ugly.


Honestly, I think the design is awful. It's like we're back in 1997 with Palm OS 0.0. Big bulky "web 2.0" looking icons don't make up for bad design. "OS X"? More like "OS Crap". I have a Macbook Pro - it's elegant and everything looks beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that Microsoft ripped Apple off with Vista. That's not the case here; I don't think Microsoft will be ripping off the iPhone.

Have you ever played with one of the newer Treos with Windows on it? It's so intuitive, so easy. Not so with the iPhone. It's like Apple ate a bunch of "web 2.0" sites, swished them around in its mouth, and threw up all over this phone/pda/ipod/piece of garbage. Microsoft seems to "get it" when it comes to the applications and functionality of these devices. They haven't build the killer app yet, but they're a lot further along than Apple is.

9. It's bulky.


There's no way this thing is fitting in my pocket. I have a hard enough time fitting a Motorola Razr in my pocket, there's no way this monstrosity is going in there. Sure, I could stand to lose some pounds off my thunder thighs, but I'm not doing it for this piece of junk. I'm also not wearing a stupid holster like those middle aged, identity crisis-riddled men who also wear the stupid bluetooth headsets in their ears to pretend like they're doing million dollar business deals in 7-11. (Note to those people: Get back in your Volvo - you're not cool, and I doubt anyone would trust you with a million dollar deal.)

My wife carries those stupid Coach purses. I could write a whole blog on purses too, but I digress. Anyway, we're not rich by any means, so she has a small purse. I think this phone is bigger than her purse. Seriously. There's no way its going in there. This thing from the looks of it is about the size of a newborn baby.

8. Uses EDGE instead of EVDO.


Bad move to go with EDGE. EVDO is superior on all levels. It's technically MUCH better, and it's more widespread. All future wireless technologies will be based on it. It would be like a movie studio saying we're ONLY releasing our movies on Betamax and not on VHS, AFTER Betamax was already going out of fashion.

Last time I checked, EDGE was 200K throughput and 2G. EVDO is 700K throughput and 3G. 'Nuff said.

7. It's expanding the evil Google empire.


Google is creeping more and more into our lives every day. I'm a big privacy guy, and I'm very concerned at the direction Google is moving in. The last thing I want to do is have GOOGLE embedded on my phone.

You do realize why Google agreed to this partnership, right? It's pretty obvious - they're probably going to collect all the data that people query on their phones so they can start spamming your cell phones with special offers. Did you search for "Dominoes" on your phone and it drew the pretty little map for you? Well, you know what? When Papa Johns decides to do an advertising deal with Google, all of a sudden, when you search for Dominoes, it might also give you directions for Papa Johns too, with a coupon. They're not dumb.

Google's going to keep making its way into our every day lives unless we stop them. I'll do my part by not buying this phone.

6. It costs too much.


Yea yea, I know how much PS3 costs. I know how much they went for on eBay. I know that some Blackberries are probably that much.

Whatever. It costs too much.

Again, I'm not a rich man, but I do okay. I'm not spending nearly a week's worth of net pay to buy this stupid thing. I have a mortgage. I'm not going to go homeless because I pay for this massive thing at the expense of my bills.

When I first heard that it would be 500-600 dollars, I though, hmm... well at least it'll probably have like a 40GB drive in it for all the music and video, right? WRONG. The iPhone maxes at 8GB. 8GB!!! I could fill that in about a minute and a half, ESPECIALLY with video. No, for that kind of money, I want something I can load AT LEAST 10 DVDs onto.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Microsoft is building the killer app. Windows Live Search for Mobile. It's in beta and it rocks.

UZi said...

I'm convinced, sounds like a shitty device.

Anonymous said...

You're absolutely right about the memory. They could have easily made it 20 GB for an extra $20. Hell, if people are dumb enough to pay $600 for that crap, why didn't they just add $100 to the price and added an extra 100 GB???

Joel said...

ahhh yes, the new iPhone now at $199. you got it, it costs too much.

Don S said...

Your an idiot,, looks sleek easy to use, fits in any normal pocket, no ads so far, sounds like your stuck in a Verizon contract and can only belittle the competition.

逆円助 said...

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精神年齢 said...

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メル友募集 said...

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家出 said...

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セレブラブ said...

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夏フェス!! said...

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無料ゲーム said...

あなたのゲーマー度を無料ゲーム感覚で測定します。15個の質問に答えるだけの簡単測定で一度遊んでみませんか?ゲームが得意な人もそうでない人もぜひどうぞ。

素人 said...

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出会い系 said...

実は出会い系には…関係者用入り口があるのを知っていますか?広告主やスポンサー用に用意されたIDではサクラや業者が立ち入ることが出来ないようになっているのです。当サイトでは極秘に入手した関係者用URLが公開されています

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家出 said...

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素人 said...

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友達募集中 said...

少し魅惑な自分をネットだから公開してみました。普段言えない事など、思い切って告白しているプロフなので興味ある方はぜひ除いてみてください連絡待ってまぁす。 hinyaaaaa@docomo.ne.jp